


Light The Fire

by MajinPiccolo



Category: Dragon Ball, Dragon Ball Super, Dragon Ball Z
Genre: Christmas, Costumes, Halloween, Holiday, I hope never, M/M, Rare Pairings, Valentine's Day, When will I stop being so inspired by this ridiculous ship, Yamza - Freeform, tried to write fluff but wound up taking it too seriously as usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:53:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27307315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajinPiccolo/pseuds/MajinPiccolo
Summary: After suffering a terrible defeat that cost him everything, Frieza now lives with the only thing he likes about this wretched planet 'Earth,' the human hero named Yamcha.While circumstances have forced him to give up his prior ambitions, his selfish and unkind nature hasn't changed. But over the course of three holidays, starting with Halloween, then Christmas, and finally Valentine's Day, he'll learn to face himself and grow into a better person... and fall in love in the process.
Relationships: Frieza/Yamcha (Dragon Ball)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 31





	1. Halloween

Light the Fire by MajinPiccolo

Chapter One: Halloween

An early falll morning, Earth’s air cool and quiet… The bedroom was still dark when Frieza awoke to the feeling of his subordinate, Yamcha, slowly removing the smaller man’s left arm from it’s usual spot draped across the human’s chest. The former emperor of space quickly closed his eyes and pretended to still be unconscious- his human normally slept like a rock and had to be dragged out of bed, so the only times he’d get up early like this on a weekend would be if he was up to something he was trying to hide. 

One of the many odd things about Yamcha was that when he had ‘something to hide’ it always seemed to be for Frieza’s benefit… so he allowed it, even pretending to roll over in his fake sleep so he’d have an excuse to move his tail (it tended to find it’s way onto his associate during the night) and save Yamcha the trouble of carefully lifting it. 

Giving up on the pretext of sleep the moment the bedroom door was closed again, Frieza sighed and stared at the shadows around the ceiling. Here he was, the feared and evil being who once held nearly all of space within his grasp… and what did he have now? A quiet life on a backwater planet and the affection of a human. 

He’d promised he wouldn’t go back to his old ways, and for the most part intended to keep that promise.

…but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss it.

There was occasional noise from the kitchen as he’d been thinking these things. Yamcha was cooking, apparently… the smell was unfamiliar but appealing. By the time his alarm went off and he exited their bedroom a rather fancy setup was in place. 

“Mornin', gorgeous,” Yamcha greeted him from the door of the dining room. In his efforts to be stealthy he hadn’t bothered to brush his hair or get dressed, and Frieza chuckled as he looked between the man’s bedhead and fraying pajama bottoms and the table. 

“So you felt it necessary to light candles and use a tablecloth- and real, non-paper plates- for breakfast? Is this a special occasion?” As he asked he closed the space between then, leaning into his subordinate’s arms and running his fingers through his hair, both to straighten it up a bit and because he loved how it felt. 

The taller man leaned into that touch. “Nah, but actually there is one next week… and I wanted to ask you a teeny tiny little favor because of it.” 

“Oh, I see now,” Frieza took a step back and glared up at his human. “So all this is to bribe me into agreeing to that favor?” 

“If I say you’re right will you do it?” 

“That depends entirely on what you’re asking of me, doesn’t it?” Frieza replied, wandering over to the table. 

Yamcha laughed as he pulled out Frieza’s chair and poured them both coffee. “It’s not anything drastic, don’t worry. See, there’s a holiday coming up called Halloween. I wanted to throw a party for it.” 

“Then do so,” the former emperor replied, taking a bite of his meal and frowning even as he inwardly deemied it delicious. He wasn’t crazy about the food on this planet in general, but he did appreciate Yamcha’s cooking and wished he’d do it more often. 

“So uh, here’s the thing… That favor I mentioned…” He got out of his chair and knelt down, grabbing the alien’s left hand and squeezing it before blurting out, “Will you do me the honor of attending it as my date?” 

Frieza took a sip of his coffee, extracted his hand from Yamcha’s grip, then simply replied, “no.”

Sighing, Yamcha got back up and returned to his chair. “Anything I can do to make you reconsider? I know you’re not a big fan of most of my friends-“

“If ‘not a big fan’ is another way of saying I have an unyielding hatred of them, you’re correct. Do you forget the whole reason I came to this planet was to attempt to kill the very people you’re now expecting me to ‘party’ with?”

“I could never forget that,” Yamcha replied with a shrug. “Then the battle didn’t go as planned, you lost pretty much your entire force, and were hurt pretty bad. So I took care of you.” 

“Do we really need to talk through my greatest failure right now?” Frieza asked. 

“Yeah actually, we do, I’m building to a point with this. You came here because you hate my friends, but you stayed here because… well…” he took the alien’s hand again and they met eyes. “I know you don’t want to put labels on this, but whatever we’ve got, it’s pretty special, isn’t it? You don’t want to make friends with Goku and Vegeta and the rest, and I’m totally fine with that. But you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, so you can’t blame me for wanting to show you off.” He smiled a little as he finished, “I’m not gonna try and force someone as stubborn as you, so if you say no again I’ll drop the topic, but this is too important to me to not ask you one more time. Frieza, will you come to the party with me as my date?” 

Frieza sighed. “Fine then. I will attend for your sake, but do not expect me to socialize with the others.” 

Yamcha flung his arms around him and thanked him what felt like a thousand times. The former emperor permitted it, and inwardly cursed himself for his inability to hold his ground when the human’s happiness was on the line. 

\- - - 

“What is all of this?” 

Yamcha carefully set six large shopping bags on the table. “Stuff for the party. Mostly decorations, and I’ve got a ton more I still need to haul in from the car. But since you’re here…” He pulled aside one of the bags with a strange sort of grin on his face. “Take a look at these and see which one you wanna wear-“ 

“Hmm? I intend to attend this function in my usual lack of attire.” 

“I keep forgetting you aren’t from here- I guess I should have explained, wearing costumes is a big part of how Halloween is traditionally celebrated. Everyone will be in costume, it’s kinda expected. Since I know you don’t have one I just went and grabbed a bunch that I figured would look good on you so you’d have some options… anything you don’t choose for the party I’ll return to the store, or, you know, you could keep it to wear around the house if you wanted.” That odd grin was back. Frieza suspiciously eyed the bag but didn’t take it, so Yamcha started sorting through it, pulling out packaged outfits and setting them out on the table. 

“Did you buy the entire store?” Frieza asked critically as the pile of costumes grew ever taller. 

“Not even close, just my favorites. It was really hard to narrow it down to just these though. So let’s see… what do you think of this one? It’s called ‘delicious devil,’ and I figured you might like it since you’re a villain-“ 

“It looks like lingerie.” 

Yamcha flinched and put the package aside. “Yeah, I guess that one is a bit revealing now that you mention it. What about this?” He held up another. “Considering my history with the sport I always wondered how you’d look in a baseball uniform, so when I saw this ‘homerun hottie’ costume-“ 

“In all the recordings of you playing your game that I’ve watched in this last year I don’t once recall seeing you or any of your teammates wearing fishnet stockings.” 

Yamcha flinched again and laughed, “Whoops, you’re right, I didn’t really look at it when I grabbed it but it is pretty inaccurate, huh?” He dug through his purchases and grabbed yet another. “What about this ‘naughty nurse’ one?” 

“Is wearing a miniskirt a necessary part of the Halloween tradition?” 

“Wow, how did I not notice? Total coincidence that all the costumes I showed you so far have that feature in common of course!” 

“Then I demand to see one without one.” 

The amount of time it took Yamcha to sort through the pile of costumes and find one without the aforementioned miniskirt was telling, but after nearly half a minute he triumphantly shoved ‘flaming hot firefighter’ and ‘kinky kitty’ into Frieza’s face. “See? That one has bootyshorts and the other is a leotard. So there are options!” 

“And why, might I ask, do all of these costumes have female humans in the packaging photos?” 

“In my defense, you never really seemed to care much about gender before, and a lot of the women’s costumes were cuter, but see, I grabbed men’s costumes too!” He dumped the rest of the bag out and pulled two from the very bottom. “Considering you’re such a great fighter this ‘boxing champion’ costume could be good, and there’s also this ‘studly surfer’ one if that’s more your thing!” 

“Those are both barely more than little shorts. My dear, dear Yamcha…” the alien pushed the costumes aside and grabbed the taller man by the front of his shirt. “I’m beginning to suspect this is all a ploy to dress me up for your own perverse sexual gratification.”

“Why would I do a thing like that? Ha ha?”

“Be honest or I’ll blow this planet up.” An empty threat and they both knew it, but the human still complied. 

“Okay, so I swear I was originally trying to find you a legit outfit for the party, but I got… sidetracked. Can you blame a guy for trying?” 

Frieza let go, smiled charmingly, and replied, “thank you for that confession.” He picked up ‘homerun hottie’ and walked away, airily saying, “get rid of these and meet me in the bedroom in five minutes. I am only wearing this once, and I’m only doing this because I know I’d look damn good in fishnet.” 

\- - - 

Yamcha was up late decorating the night before the party, so Frieza didn’t wait up. Sleep eluded him thanks to the sounds of his subordinate and the third member of their household, Puar, whispering and moving things around in the living room. He laid on his side, idly drumming his fingertips against the other pillow. 

While he was recovering from his failed battle against the Saiyans he’d stayed in the guest room of this very apartment. Yamcha took care of him- initially the alien would lash out and try to resist his aide, enjoying the terror he could still inspire even in such a weakened state. But his human lost that fear as the months wore on, as by the time he had enough of his strength back that he could make good on his death threats he’d lost the desire to kill the taller man. 

When asked, Yamcha would say he volunteered for the unpleasant job of tending the villain because ‘someone had to do it,’ but he admitted to Frieza once they’d built a rapport that he’d been fascinated with him since the moment they met. He suspected there was more to it than that, though… 

He’d seen how, and where, the man’s eyes had lingered on him. 

With around half his strength back after a few months of healing, it slowly began to be clear that this was as good as he’d get. While still strong by most standards, he’d never be what he once was ever again. He announced he’d be returning to space the following morning. Considering how obvious it had been that Yamcha was attracted to him, he was only a little surprised when the man he’d come to view as his favorite subordinate wrapped his arms around him and pulled their bodies close. 

Well, the attraction wasn’t one sided. The human was incredibly handsome, and the gentle touch of his hands as he’d cleaned up Frieza’s injuries during his rehabilitation had put thoughts into the emperor’s head. With that in mind, he decided he didn’t mind giving Yamcha something to remember him by, and shredded his clothes off before grabbing his arm and dragging him into the master bedroom. 

It was only after a surprisingly enjoyable night together that he realized his mistake- apparently Earth culture includes platonic hugging amongst friends, not just as an expression of physical intimacy between sexual partners. Yamcha had just meant it as a way of saying good bye, but was delighted when Frieza initiated something further. 

After they got past the initial surprise they both laughed it off… but Frieza didn’t leave that day. Or the next. Or ever. And he never returned to the guest bedroom. 

He really did like it here with Yamcha. 

Several times early on the taller man had asked as to what they were but Frieza was always evasive. He greatly disliked the implications of dating or being boyfriends or any of that. What they had worked, no need to try and make anything further of it. 

Still, he was getting rather annoyed waiting on him to finish his project… Further sounds from the living room had brought him back to the present moment. With a sigh Frieza got up and left the bedroom, intending to tell him whatever decorating was left couldn’t be more important than sleep- but stopped in the door, shocked. 

“What in space have you done to this room?!” 

A startled Yamcha almost fell off a stepladder, but Puar grabbed him and helped him get stable. “Hey, Frieza, hope we didn’t wake you-“ 

“I was never asleep to begin with. But what is this disgusting mess?” With a grand sweep of his tail he gestured around the room. While previously only mildly cluttered, it was now flithy, with cobwebs and insects all over, rotting cloth covering the tables, bones from some unknown being scattered here and there, and blood splashed about- some had even wound up on the lights, filling the room with an unearthly reddish glow. 

Yamcha and Puar excitedly fist bumped each other. “Disgusting mess! Yes! We nailed it!” 

“Hmm?” 

Jumping down from the ladder, Yamcha approached Frieza as Puar finally explained, “these are traditional Halloween decorations.” 

The alien picked up one of the bones. “What a strange holiday. So you killed someone just to decorate? And didn’t let me help?”

Yamcha shook his head. “Nah, it’s all fake. The holiday’s origins are in paying respects to the dead, but it’s turned into a celebration of all things spooky over the years. Hence all this!” 

“Finally, I may be seeing a part of this ‘Halloween’ that I don’t think is ridiculous. Fear is certainly something worth celebrating.” 

“See? You might have fun at the party after all!” Yamcha put an arm around the former emperor’s shoulders. “Sorry I didn’t think to warn you about how all this would look. I didn’t mean to scare you when you came in here!” 

“You didn’t scare me. Nothing scares me.” 

“Really?” Yamcha asked, grabbing a plastic skull and waving it in Frieza’s face. “Not even the spoooooooky skeleton?” 

Despite his best efforts to glare disapprovingly the alien couldn’t help but chuckle as he swatted it away… but he decided he’d have his own little revenge that night. He waited until Yamcha had fallen asleep before switching into his monstrous third form and quietly positioning himself inches away from the human’s face, waking him up with a lick- their neighbors likely didn’t appreciate one man’s startled scream or the other’s riotous laughter, but Frieza felt it was well worth the effort. 

Back in his usual form and in bed wrapped around his subordinate, he smiled as he drifted off to sleep. 

This might not be the life he’d expected for himself, but it wasn’t a bad one. 

\- - - 

The morning before the party, Puar pushed a shopping cart, followed by an irritable Frieza. He hated Earth’s residents in general and tried to spend as little time around them as possible, so he generally avoided stores. Being out in public also required him to abide by the rules of Earthling society, so he was wearing clothing. The rough denim fabric of his pants chaffed his thighs with every step… ugh. 

He’d be happy to never have to wear clothes again. 

Except in the bedroom. He’d come to quite like the effect that seeing him in a skimpy costume could have on Yamcha… 

“One moment,” he said, and Puar paused accordingly. Frieza grabbed two bottles of a red wine with each of his hands and four more with his tail, then repeated this two more times. 

The shapeshifter frowned. “There’s not a lot of wine drinkers in our group, do you really think we need that many-“ 

“Those are for me.” 

“…I should have guessed.” 

There was some more silence as they pulled more beverages off the shelves based on a list Yamcha had given them. Frieza didn’t mind, he never really had much interest in talking with Puar. He’d long since realized that he was part of an unbreakable set with Yamcha, and while he accepted his presence in their home, he didn’t have any sort of particular liking for him. 

It wasn’t until they’d finished grabbing wine and liquor and headed over to the beer section that Puar seemed to think it fit to attempt to make conversation, but the topic wasn’t a pleasant one. “I think Lord Yamcha deserves a lot better than what you’re giving him.” 

He missed having people be too afraid of him to insult him like that, but even if he’d promised no more killing, he could still fight back verbally. “Oh yes, because their are so many better than me. After all, I’m only immeasurably strong, a genius, wealthy beyond comprehension, and an ideal of physical attractiveness-“ 

“Stop being so conceited and sarcastic for even one minute why don’t you?” Puar demanded, letting go of the cart and floating to eye level. “I’m not talking about all of that, I’m talking about how you treat him!” 

“He has no complaints.” 

“That’s because he’s blinded by how much he likes you, so he lets you act like he’s a member of your staff or something! Lord Yamcha always finds himself in relationships where he isn’t appreciated and I’m tired of it.” 

“He’s an adult. He is more than capable of making his own decisions,” Frieza replied. He reached for the list in an effort to get this shopping trip over with, but Puar blocked him. 

“One of the things that makes Lord Yamcha special is that once he decides he cares about someone, he’ll do literally anything to make them smile. He’s the most loyal and fun and kind friend anyone could ask for. And all he wants for himself at this point is a happy life with the perfect romantic partner, but instead he’s wasting his time with you. He treats you like a star, and what have you done in return? You were just bragging about your wealth but I’ve never seen you pay for anything. All you do is take up his energy and make it impossible for me to sleep at night!” 

“If our passion is too loud for you then you should move out.” 

“No! I’m staying with Lord Yamcha!” 

“Of course you say that,” Frieza shook his head and crossed his arms. “Then at least move into the guest bedroom, it’s on the other side of the apartment. You won’t have to hear us if you’re no longer sharing a wall-“ 

“I refuse, the guest bedroom is tiny!” 

“And so are you.” 

“And you’re short!” 

It took every ounce of self control Frieza had left not to maim Puar for that comment, but after a few deep breaths he forced himself to relax and simply said, “This ranting of yours is testing my patience.” 

“I’ve said my piece,” he replied with a shrug, and they finally went back to grabbing the last of the drinks, blissful silence returning until they were in line for the cashier. “Frieza, why did you volunteer help with this, anyway? You hate having to be out in public.” 

“No real reason… Yamcha was just so anxious about the shopping that still needed to be done that offering to take his place seemed logical.” 

“He really is stressing about getting everything perfect. It’s his first time hosting in ages, and everyone’s gonna compare it to epic Bulma’s parties… and that’s only the beginning of why this one is so important for him to get right. But…” Puar smiled a little, “more importantly, you did something selfless for Yamcha’s sake today, so maybe I was wrong. You might not be hopeless.” 

Frieza ignored him. 

\- - - 

Vegeta had been the only one to RSVP that he wouldn’t be attending, so the living room was packed that evening. Frieza recognized many of the guests as his teammates from the Tournament of Power, or as those who’d stood against him at various points in the past. Yamcha had been right that costumes were the norm- the only guest attending in their regular clothing was Piccolo, who seemed as oblivious to Earth’s traditions as Frieza was despite having participated in their society to some extent for years at this point. 

Considering this was the first time he’d seen many of these people since he lost to them in the battle that started his stay on Earth, it was a little… awkward. For Frieza, and the rest. Most of the group seemed to be pointedly trying to ignore him other than occasionally glancing his direction and whispering behind their raised hands. From what he’d been able to pick up of it, it seemed to be a mix of speculation as to whether he had flipped sides or not, what was keeping him on Earth and behaving… and the exact nature of what was going on with him and Yamcha. 

How irritating… He stayed to the side and drank his wine, his eyes wandering the room until they found his human, who was talking with that annoying Bulma woman. After a moment he excused himself and sat down by Frieza. 

“I can’t believe it… did you see what Bulma was wearing?” He asked quietly. 

“How could I not notice ‘homerun hottie?” Frieza replied, smirking. “So who would you say wore it best?” 

“You. No contest,” Yamcha replied. “It’s still my favorite of everything you’ve worn so far.” 

“I’m glad we wound up keeping those silly costumes, but I’m equally glad to not be wearing one of them in public.” Indeed, while the alien was in costume, it wasn’t one of the ones Yamcha had purchased. He’d wound up taking one of the human’s old baseball uniforms to the tailor and having it modified to fit his abbreviated stature and tail. 

Amusingly enough, his subordinate had independently decided to do something similar, and was wearing armor, eye makeup, and a set of fake horns in a vague approximation fo Frieza’s first form’s classic look. Upon realizing they’d both more or less dressed as the past versions of one another they had a good laugh. These odd little ways that they tended to think alike were a big part of why they got along so well, after all. 

The human got back up in order to refresh the snack table- Goku was eating a repulsive amount, unsurprisingly- and Frieza stared at the TV, pretending to watch some sort of ridiculous old monster movie that it was showing. 

It was hard to scare a literal monster with a bad black and white video of a human in a costume. 

It was hard to scare Frieza in general. 

But perhaps due to the nature of the holiday surrounding him in decor and theme, his mind couldn’t help but wander to the few fears he’d never admit. 

Glancing over at Goku, (who was chatting with Yamcha, Gohan, and what he assumed was his partner) he knew the idea of another painful death terrified him. One of the many pluses of his alliance with Yamcha was the knowledge that the Saiyan’s unnecessary loyalty toward his friends would prevent him murdering Frieza as long as he was important to the human. 

Fear felt like a cold knife slashing down his chest and stomach, with a sudden instability of balance followed by a racing heart. He could break it down like that and dull it’s impact on his conscious mind, putting up a front of calm even with his deadly rival across the room. But there was something in the awkward atmosphere of the occasion that created a similar feeling for the former emperor of space. 

The idea of leaving Yamcha, who had tried so hard to have this party be a success, disappointed? The knowledge that he’d been asked to attend as his date yet hadn’t acted like one, and as a result had just lead to further distraction and uncertainty to the other guests? 

The coldest and sharpest of knifes twisting deep within him would have trouble being more uncomfortable. 

He looked away, bringing his focus instead onto a candle. They were all over the apartment as ‘mood lighting,’ either on their own, or in candelabras, or inside of what Puar had referred to as ‘jack o lanterns.’ Their flames were tiny, nothing like the grand explosions of fire he’d once loved to watch while blowing up planets. Hardly enough to provide light or warmth, but somehow still a comfort as they surrounded him. 

Maybe… maybe it was long passed time for him to face his biggest fear of all. 

With a sigh, Frieza stood up, ignoring the eyes on him, and approached his favorite Earthling. 

Yamcha greeted him with a smile, “Doing alright, Frieza?” 

“Of course, but I could use another drink.” 

Immediately he stepped away from the Saiyan’s family, and was back within seconds with a fresh glass of Frieza’s favorite red wine. 

The alien smiled, accepted it, and, shoving down the awkwardness that made this difficult, laced his free hand through Yamcha’s hair, gently guiding him down for the briefest of kisses. There was a gasp from the room, then silence. Frieza, as casually as he could, hooked his fingers around his human’s and said to no one in particular, “goodness, it’s almost like they’ve never seen a man kiss his boyfriend before.” 

The silence was followed by a few moments of quick whispers, and then… normalcy. Yamcha didn’t say anything about any of it, but gave Frieza’s hand a hard squeeze before he let go, looking happier than perhaps ever. 

Maybe it was worth it to have Yamcha as a partner and not a subordinate. It already felt right. 

His gambit worked- no longer worried about Frieza, all the guests relaxed, and at last the party started to feel like a proper festive event. He was almost shocked at how easy it was to seemingly integrate into the group, but considering how many former enemies had become close friends or lovers, he supposed he shouldn’t have assumed it would work any other way. 

He felt good enough to even participate in the activities himself, at least a little. Many of the games seemed juvenile, but he registered for and advanced several rounds in the arm wrestling competition before gracefully conceding defeat to Android 17. 

He still had standards, after all, and 17 was one of the few people at this event he had any degree of respect for. Besides, the prize for this and most other competitive events was a box of thematically appropriate cookies Yamcha had baked, and if Frieza had been brave enough to admit he saw Yamcha as someone special publicly then he could certainly have what it took to lean into sentimentality and tell his human that he loved his cooking and wished he had it more often. 

Considering they both hadn’t planned it as such, and he hadn’t considered themselves anything more allies at the start of the night, both were surprised when they won the ‘cutest couple’ portion of the costume contest. 

As a stammering Yamcha blushed and laughed, Frieza couldn’t help but feel a sort of contentment. 

The tedium of the days on Earth. 

The loss of his empire. 

The vulnerability of admitting he found someone special enough to be a real partner… 

Maybe, just maybe, as long as he could continue to see that handsome human’s smile, it would all be okay.

End Chapter One: Halloween

Author’s note: the next two chapters will be published more or less in real time alongside two more holidays, fyi! As for the costumes mentioned here, I wasn’t picturing anything specific and was more parodying the general tendency for Halloween costumes to be sexy these days, so feel free to use your imagination to picture exactly what ‘homerun hottie’ and the rest looked like LOL. Anyway I tried to write a fluff fic but as always it turned into something I put way too much effort into, hope any readers enjoyed it anyway. Comments and kudos make my day. Happy Halloween!


	2. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The limits of what Frieza is willing to do for Yamcha are tested when the human invites him along to go skiing- something Yamcha seems to think will be a blast, but Frieza just sees as a cold and boring waste of time... 
> 
> But before they can spend Christmas skiing, Frieza will have to handle his anger in the face of a certain Saiyan prince. Will Frieza be able to set aside his own needs for Yamcha's sake? And will he ever figure out what the heck this 'missile toe' thing he keeps hearing about is?

Light the Fire by MajinPiccolo

Chapter Two: Christmas

Frieza didn’t understand why Yamcha had a job. The human he’d spent the last month and a half finally officially dating (after many months of sharing a home and bed) was at work right now- the former emperor of space sat on the couch half ignoring the TV, drumming his fingertips against his thighs as he waited. 

Unlike Frieza’s past position, Yamcha’s job held no real power or importance. The pay was excellent, and allowed him to support what he called ‘his found family’ - himself, Puar, and Frieza - without trouble, but at this point he had enough saved up that he could cover them all for their remaining lifespans without difficulty. This wasn’t even taking into account the former emperor’s vast riches, should he ever take the trouble of finding a way to convert them to a currency that would be accepted on Earth. 

The alien told him to retire. His human seemed to think it was a joke. Terrible at taking direct orders, that one… he’d have made a horrid member of Frieza’s army. 

“-this has certainly been one of the most surprising and controversial years in recent baseball history, and may require the entirety of the prior season to be struck from the record books. For a deeper look into the latest details in this developing scandal, we’ll be switching over to our baseball analyst, former Taitans star player Yamcha. Yamcha, what’s your take?”

There he was- Frieza turned up the volume and leaned forward as the face of his favorite thing about this primitive planet appeared on the screen. While he’d learned a bit about baseball by virtue of living with a former player who was now in his second sports related career as a television analyst, he didn’t really understand the deeper complexities of whatever the man was currently discussing. That didn’t matter though… he had such a nice voice, and looked splendid with his perfectly cut suit and professionally styled hair. The confident way he spoke about a topic he was so knowledgable about, the charismatic smiles and passionate articulation- 

A high pitched giggle broke his concentration and he sat straight up, glaring at the intruder. “May I help you?” Polite words, delivered with a tone that would have once made the entire universe tremble. 

…it lacked that effect these days. “If you knew how smitten you look when you watch Lord Yamcha’s segment you’d be laughing at yourself too,” Puar said from his spot at the living room’s entrance. He had his phone in hand. 

“Certainly you know better than to have been taking photos of this supposedly amusing expression of mine?” 

“Oh, it’s not just your expression, your whole posture and everything-“ Puar seemed to notice the alien’s rising tension and wisely decided to stop playing with fire. “Anyway no photos! I was just watching Lord Yamcha too is all! Since this was prerecorded I’m betting he’ll be home soon!” He floated off. 

Frieza rolled his eyes and returned his attention to the television. Yes, Yamcha would have been useless as one of his soldiers, far too independent… a shame, as he’d have looked amazing in the uniform. 

Unfortunately the broadcast switched to a commercial break, and the alien only half watched as he waited for the show to return. “Will you be able to rely on your breath mints to keep you fresh when you’re standing under the mistletoe with that special someone?” An ad asked, and Frieza contemplated what kind of being had ‘missile toes.’ Certainly not humans… he’d seen Yamcha’s feet plenty of times. Perhaps it was a cybernetic upgrade Earthling soldiers had? Or maybe they were referring to a Ki based attack? A strange ad, implying people would be worried about how they smelled if they and their lover were being stomped to death under someone’s missile-shooting feet… 

He’d never understand this planet and its customs. 

\- - - 

An hour later Yamcha was unpacking a couple of bags of takeout. While he didn’t reach Saiyan levels of repulsive excess, he certainly ate a lot. Puar of course only needed tiny portions, and Frieza ate a perfectly normal amount. Between the three of them it probably averaged out. 

“It’s been insane how much work this has all made for me, not just ZTV, but I’ve been getting interview requests from all the big sports channels and websites. Between last season’s sign stealing and the one before that’s doping scandal, people are starting to say I was part of the last golden age of baseball, and that the sport will never recover from here.” 

“The fact that a simple game is worth so much drama, it’s no wonder humanity has barely achieved space travel. Everyone’s too busy worrying about nonsense like whether someone used the wrong medication or if someone else was beating on a trash can.” Frieza opened one of the containers and looked inside. Tempura? Ugh. He closed it quickly… but tempura meant Japanese food, and Japanese food meant sushi!- before he could even ask, his boyfriend handed him a box full of it. 

“Don’t worry, I remembered your favorites.” Their hands touched for a moment and they caught each other’s eye and smiled. Some time had passed of course since his TV appearance, and his thick hair had already mostly fallen out of the once smooth ponytail his network stylist had coaxed it into. It was still a good look for him. 

“It’s appreciated.” 

Once they were all seated with their food, Yamcha spoke up with a big grin. “This hasn’t all been bad though, the programming manager says the ratings for my commentary are through the roof, and he gave me a special holiday bonus aside from the usual cash one.” 

“With as hard as you’ve been working you’ve earned it ten times over this year!” Puar agreed. 

“I’m glad they see your worth, although I’m still of the opinion you should retire immediately,” Frieza said as he dipped a piece of his sushi in soy sauce. “You never have time to cook for us anymore.” 

“Not happening, but check this out-“ he set his phone down in the middle of the table, and his housemates both took a look at the screen. “Not only are all the accommodations, meals, and activities paid in full, but they’re giving me a whole week off to enjoy it.” 

The words displayed were meaningless to the former emperor, so he waited for Puar to react, and react he did. “Wow, a skiing trip? I’ve heard of that resort, isn’t it supposed to be super luxurious?” 

“That’s right, so I’m completely stoked! The trip includes our own private lodge and everything, and is for the week of Christmas. You’ll both be able to come with me, right?” 

“Of course, Lord Yamcha!” 

“You had me at the word ‘luxury,’ so I’ll join you as well.” It wasn’t like Frieza had any other commitments since his own forced retirement, and in the end, regardless of where he’d be, he’d rather be spending time with Yamcha anyway. 

“Great! This is gonna be awesome! No work for a whole week, just the mountain and each other!” 

“I can’t wait!” Puar squealed, then paused, “Um, do either of you even know how to ski?” 

Yamcha shrugged. “No clue, but how hard can it be? It looks fun enough in the Olympics and all that. Frieza?” 

He hated having to admit his ignorance, but even after residing here for a while it still happened a lot on this planet. “I’m not certain what skiing is, but if a human can do it then of course I’m more than capable.” 

“That’s the spirit!” As his boyfriend picked back up his phone, he closed the information about the trip and returned to the homescreen- and Frieza caught a brief glimpse of his wallpaper. 

“What was that?!” 

“Oh, Puar sent me this earlier- I didn’t even know you watched my show!” He held it up, showing a photo of the alien watching TV with a dreamy smile on his face. 

“Did he now?” 

The shapeshifter laughed nervously. “Okay maybe I took just one quick photo because I knew it would make his day-“ 

Frieza’s tail swung fast but just a little too high, missing Puar by about a centimeter. Like all of the former emperor’s threats these days it was an empty one- he’d missed deliberately. His ‘target’ at least had the decency to pretend to be intimidated. Yamcha just laughed at them both. 

\- - - 

In bed that night, Frieza sat up leaning against his boyfriend’s side, the human’s warm arm around the alien’s broad shoulders. Yamcha’s laptop sat in front of them, and with his free hand he was navigating a video streaming site. “Let’s see, ‘Highlights from the men’s cross country and downhill skiing finals’ sounds about right.” He clicked it and the screen was filled with an image of a damp, snow-covered mountainous area. Several humans, in full cold weather gear, were pushing themselves along with sticks while standing on other sticks. After a moment of this, the camera cut to another part of what was likely the same freezing hellscape, showing similarly attired men sliding swiftly down a slope on the same sticks. 

“So this is what we’ll be doing?” Frieza asked, unimpressed. 

“Yep! Looks like fun, right? I’m betting we’ll both be naturals, as athletic as we are. Your tail will give you a great stability advantage too!” 

It most certainly didn’t look fun. It looked boring, and while Frieza could easily survive the most extreme of conditions he still despised being cold and wet. But over the last month or so he’d came to realize that it could be worthwhile to hold his tongue in the name of preserving Yamcha’s smile. He wouldn’t pretend to be enthusiastic about it though. “We’ll just have to see, won’t we? Will the resort we’re booked for have that much snow?” 

“Nope, it should have even more of it! They’ve got a state of the art snow making machine, so it’s gonna be perfect conditions all week!” 

“Ah. Indeed… how nice for you.” 

Yamcha might have picked up on Frieza’s reluctance, but the scene on his screen suddenly cut away to shots of some living room with a large lit up tree in the center of it, distracting him. “Ugh, these unskippable ads are soooo annoying.” 

“It’s that time of year again, for holiday magic! Yes, time to trim the tree, to steal a kiss under the mistletoe, to make gingerbread and memories- and to do it all you’ll need to shop our seasonal savings event!” The advertisement blared out. 

‘Missile toes’ again. Frieza still didn’t get it. 

“Oh, wait, you didn’t know about Halloween, so I’m betting I should tell you about Christmas too, huh?” Yamcha closed his laptop and set it on a table to the side of the bed then put both of his arms around his boyfriend. “If you’re curious…” 

“I have heard it mentioned. Clearly it’s a holiday, but nothing we celebrate in space. Tell me of it.” The alien was happy to think about something other than the unpleasant sounding trip. Here in this warm, soft bed, held close by the man who was more devoted to him than any of his former employees… this was much more to his liking. His tail slipped around them both. 

“So, Christmas… it’s basically a month long commercial shopping event, really. The idea is people give each other gifts, and do various traditions like decorating certain ways and spending time with their loved ones. That last part is why I was excited you and Puar are gonna be coming with me for the ski trip, since that’ll be falling on the week of Christmas.” He paused, using a hand to tilt Frieza’s chin back so they could meet eyes. “After all, Puar’s my best friend, and you… well, you know I’m completely crazy about you.” 

Frieza smiled a little. “Yes, you’ve done a wonderful job of making that clear.” He closed his eyes as his handsome partner leaned down and gave him a soft kiss. Even once their lips parted they stayed close. 

“So anyway, even if it’s really about spending money the emphasis on being with the ones you care about is the nice part, for me at least. Especially this year.” 

“Because of me?” 

“Exactly because of you. Now I gotta get some sleep. None of us have the right clothing or gear for our trip, so I’m gonna try and hit the sporting goods store early in the morning before all the holiday shoppers crowd the place out.” 

They both laid down at that point, Frieza using his tail to shut off the lamp before pressing his body against his human’s. One of the best things about dating a mammal had to be the way they generated an unending supply of body heat… it felt more appealing than ever during the winter. He ran his hand over the taller man’s broad chest, draped one of his thick legs over his waist, and wrapped his tail around one of his legs before closing his eyes, knowing he’d be asleep in minutes in such a comfortable, warm place- 

“Uh… babe, I’m not gonna be able to relax if you keep this up.” 

“Oho?” Covered by the darkness, Frieza smirked. Wouldn’t it just be such a shame if Yamcha overslept and couldn’t go shopping? He may even just cancel the trip… So he not only didn’t stop the motion of his hands, he also moved his leg down slightly so that his thigh rested against his boyfriend’s crotch. Moving himself so he could whisper in his ear he replied, “whatever could you mean by that?” 

Yamcha grabbed him, shoved him onto his back, and rolled on top of him. “If you’re gonna be difficult about letting me sleep I’m just gonna have to do something that tires you out!” 

Even though his strength wasn’t what it used to be he could have easily stopped his boyfriend from tossing him around like that, but why would he ever want to? He liked it best when Yamcha was rough with him. So he just smirked coyly and replied, “I’d like to see you try.” 

Well, Yamcha tried- and succeeded. They both passed out in one another’s arms a little under an hour later. 

\- - - 

Despite getting a later than intended start, Yamcha was determined to do his shopping- and he dragged Frieza along with him. They were now in a large store dedicated to outdoorsy-stuff. They walked past a display of camping equipment and fishing supplies… The alien was vividly reminded of a trip they’d taken together in late summer, where they’d flown off into the wilderness and spent a night by a clear river. He’d still just considered Yamcha his favorite, sexiest subordinate at that point, but it had been an early example of how certain primitive Earthling pleasures could actually be fun. 

Of course, it wasn’t so much the fresh air and natural splendor that had made him enjoy himself so much. It was the isolation, far away from everything he disliked about Earth… and of course, the goofy, enthusiastic, oddly comforting presence of Yamcha himself. 

He should have known even then that he’d care for this frustratingly likable man way more than he’d ever want to admit. 

After all, he was Lord Frieza. He shouldn’t be having feelings for a human hero, but there was nothing he could do about it. Everything about him was designed for strength- from his deadly body to his intense rage. He shouldn’t have been surprised that even his other emotions could be similarly powerful. 

At some point he might even consider saying as much to his boyfriend, but he doubted he’d be ready to make himself that vulnerable any time soon, if ever. 

Oblivious to his companion’s introspection, Yamcha lead on, stopping at a section filled with outerwear. “Okay! So the resort I guess provides the actual skis and all that, but we’re still gonna need warm clothes to wear. Something waterproof, since the snow’s gonna be down, and we’re gonna need boots for you…” he sighed as he looked down at Frieza’s feet. Shoes were the biggest complication anytime they shopped for him, as unlike most things they couldn’t be made to work for his anatomy with a quick trip to the tailor. “Hopefully we’ll be lucky and they’ll have something…” 

It didn’t take long for Yamcha to find several jackets and heavy sweaters that he liked and fit him well. Picking out a few pairs of insulated, waterproof pants was a fast task as well. Grabbing things for Puar was always a non-issue. Since he could shape shift at will, as long as the clothing was vaguely close to his size he could make it work. He hadn’t even bothered to come along for that reason. 

One of the many reasons Frieza hated wearing clothing was how difficult it could be to find things that fit him. Many of the jackets were the right length for his arms and torso but provided woefully insufficient space for his shoulders. Pants were also an issue, as even when a pair could be found that fit his legs there was no way to know how well it would accommodate his tail without ripping out the back seam… something Frieza no longer did after they were banned from the first store he’d shopped at back when he first accepted the reality that Earth would be his home long term and he’d need to be able to dress like he belonged there. 

The better part of two hours later they at last had everything but the boots. “Okay, on the way home we’ll drop the pants off to get them hemmed and a tail insert put in, then we’ll just have to get your boots made custom.” 

“Will they really be able to make an adequate set customized for my feet in the limited amount of time we have before we leave for the trip?” He kinda hoped the answer was no, but Yamcha shrugged. 

“Throw enough money at a problem and it goes away.” 

Despite his casual attitude, Frieza still had a good laugh at his boyfriend’s shock a half hour later as he reluctantly pulled out his credit card to pay the very large deposit requested up front from the boot maker. “And this,” he sighed as they left the store, “is exactly why I don’t retire. You’re an expensive luxury to keep around!” 

“I’m worth every penny,” Frieza replied with a shrug. It’s not like these situations came up _that_ often… 

“You are!” Yamcha agreed, “and money is worthless in the face of all the fun we’re gonna have skiing together anyway!” 

“Yes… I can’t wait,” Frieza sighed. “Now let’s get back home where it’s nice and warm. You can make me hot chocolate.” 

\- - - 

They’d be flying out to the resort the following day, taking an airplane. Frieza was actually a bit curious about that part, as he’d never done it before. For now, he was killing time at home waiting for Yamcha to return from Capsule Corp… The Briefs family placed massive decorations in their yard as part of their family’s annual Christmas celebrations, and apparently roping Yamcha into helping with the set up and tear down was also part of the tradition. 

As he waited, he half watched a video titled ‘basics of downhill skiing part one’ that Yamcha had left for him as a homework assignment of sorts. Part way through an unskippable ad started playing- Frieza sighed. He could see why Yamcha hated these things. Happy for a distraction that didn’t involve thinking about the cold damp hell he was about to endure for his human’s sake, he played around a bit with some code. 

There… Fixed. It was almost disappointingly easy thanks to how primitive the technology was here compared to what he was used to.

With no more ads he begrudgingly resumed watching the skiing video until he heard the door. He stood, stretched, and headed to the entry. “That took far too long- Yamcha?” 

Puar had transformed into a crutch and was helping the human to the couch. Frieza was at his side in seconds. 

“It’s my damned leg again,” he muttered. “We were putting up this stupidly oversized, seventy five foot tall tree, and the crane Dr. Briefs was using snapped. I caught it, of course, but all that weight went on my bad leg…” 

“Lord Yamcha was being a hero! It had almost crushed Bulma!” Puar added. 

Frieza sat next to his boyfriend and lifted the limb in question onto his lap. “Puar, get us some ice.” This injury had been Yamcha’s quiet embarrassment for most of his adult life, and something he tried to keep hidden from as many people as possible. Unfortunately it’s hard to hide such things from someone you live with, and several months into Frieza’s physical rehabilitation at the human’s hands he’d first witnessed it and asked, curious what could have harmed what seemed to be a relatively sturdy member of a weak species. 

The way Yamcha had explained it, he’d suffered a broken leg less than a day before King Piccolo had attacked, and, thinking the world was ending anyway and determined to go down fighting if that was the case, he’d neglected rest and immediately been up and ready to fight. Supporting his weight on this still healing injury guaranteed the broken bone never had a chance to set right. He’d only further aggravated it by continuing to fight, play sports, and in general be active for years after that. By the time he realized just how badly it had healed it was long past the point where it could be fixed with Dende’s healing abilities or a Senzu bean. Most of the time it was an easy to ignore dull ache, but when something aggravated the old wound he’d be almost unable to walk for days. 

“Why do you do this to yourself?” Frieza sighed, carefully massaging the limb in question. 

Yamcha sighed as well. “Not a lot of choice. When a nine-hundred pound object is falling on someone, you don’t exactly have time to stop and try to control which limb takes that force, you just gotta do what it takes to save them from being crushed to death. It just sucks on the timing… of course this happens right before our trip.”

“This is why it’s best to leave others to their own devices. If you hadn’t felt like you were obligated to help you wouldn’t have been there in the first place. As for saving that woman, well, she married Vegeta didn’t she? If he can’t save his own wife then-“ he paused his lecture, as at the mention of the Saiyan Yamcha’s hands squeezed into fists. 

“That’s the worst part,” Yamcha nearly growled. “That jerk Vegeta was there, not helping of course, and when the crane broke he didn’t even flinch, he just stared at me because he knew I’d jump in to take care of it. And then he had the nerve to laugh at me when my leg went!” 

“I see.” The alien’s tone was like ice as he stood. Puar returned with a cold pack as Frieza looked back at Yamcha and said, “I’ll be right back.” 

“Babe, you’re not gonna do anything drastic are you?” 

“We’ll just have to see about that.” Frieza was out the door before anything else could be clarified. 

His hatred of this planet was deep, and he rarely left their home when he wasn’t with Yamcha as a result. With the exception of the Halloween party, he hadn’t seen any of Earth’s defenders since he’d fought them and lost… 

But he could find Vegeta easy enough. He hadn’t mastered the skill to the same extent that his Yamcha had, but he’d learned the basics of sensing ki, and found the Saiyan prince’s was a particularly easy one to find- likely due to their long history. Flying at top speed he arrived in what felt like seconds at a large compound that had been decked out in what he recognized from the constant barrage of advertisements featuring them as ‘Christmas decorations.’ 

It seemed his target had sensed his arrival, as Vegeta stepped outside, looking irritated, as usual. “I’d been wondering when you’d give me an excuse to kick your ass.” 

Frieza landed and charged straight at him, but stopped just short of attacking. “You disgusting, pathetic man,” he hissed, grabbing the collar of his shirt.

“Go on,” Vegeta sneered. “As long as you hit me first then I can say I honored my end of the truce before I kill you.” 

The former emperor’s free hand clenched into a fist but he still held back from striking. “What is your problem with Yamcha?” He demanded instead. 

“Is that how we’re going to frame this?” Vegeta laughed. “I know you’ve been just waiting until you felt you’d gotten your strength back before you’d try and pull some pathetic attempt at revenge. There’s no need to pretend it’s about the honor of your fake boyfriend-“ 

“Fake?! If we’re going to be insulting relationships then we should both take a moment and remember my Yamcha had to save your wife while you were too busy sitting back doing nothing! And thanks to your lazy, self absorbed actions he will have to give up something he’d really been looking forward to-“ 

Vegeta rolled his eyes and cut Frieza off. “It’s just us here, stop pretending this is about that human you’ve conned into serving you. Just try and throw a punch already so I can get on with trashing your ass!” 

His grip on the Saiyan’s shirt tightened. Oh, he wanted to hurt this man- 

“Frieza! Hey!” 

-instead he let go and turned away. Yamcha had followed him, and was watching, his expression nervous, from a spot where he remained several feet above the ground in an effort to keep his weight off his injured leg. 

“You should be resting, Yamcha.” He flew to his boyfriend’s side, quietly amazed that he’d managed to hold himself back. But there was something he could do, something that would hurt Vegeta without risking the truce that protected the life he was building with his definitely not fake boyfriend. “Let’s get you home.” 

Glancing to make sure the Saiyan was still watching, he put his arms around his human and kissed him- not a quick peck, but a passionate, lingering kiss with a considerable amount of tongue and ended with his hand on Yamcha’s ass. 

“You’ve got to kidding me,” Vegeta groaned, and stomped back inside. 

As they flew home Frieza kept a tight grip on his boyfriend’s hand. “Say the word and I’ll happily kill him for you.” 

“Please don’t kill anyone for me,” Yamcha sighed, “but… thank you.” 

“I acted in a moment of anger and was unable to accomplish anything. You have no reason to be showing me gratitude.” 

“You were ready to fight to defend me, then, even more incredibly, you held back from it for our sake. I think those are both really noble things. So yeah, thank you, Frieza.” 

His mistake was looking up. Yamcha was giving him the best smile… Frieza’s heart felt like it flipped in his chest and he could feel his cheeks burn. His fingers tightened further around his boyfriend’s. “Let’s fly faster. We still need to pack.” 

“Really?” 

“I refuse to let that damn monkey take your ski trip from you!” 

\- - - 

The airplane flight hadn’t been half bad. Yamcha preferred the aisle seat for the extra space, so Frieza sat next to the window. There was a comforting familiarity to looking down at the Earth this way… it was a little like his old life, watching planets come into view below his ship… 

Being waited on by the plane’s staff was nice too. His human explained they had the best possible tickets and that this wasn’t an example of what flying was normally like, but that didn’t matter much to the former emperor. He was living in the moment, and taking full advantage of the free wine that ‘first class’ seating apparently included. 

After they landed and left the airport he had to accept the reality of what he’d agreed to. 

Snow. Ice. Damp, unpleasant nastiness. 

At least Yamcha seemed happy. He walked with Frieza’s tail under his arm in place of a crutch and looked at the snow covered trees with a big grin. “I’m so glad we’re still doing this! Frieza, Puar, I’m just glad to be here, I won’t be mad at you if you two wanna hit the slopes without me-“ 

“But Lord Yamcha, we’re here for you!” 

“And I appreciate it, I really do, but there’s no reason you two should suffer just because I got injured and can’t ski!” 

“Oh, somehow I’m willing to sacrifice,” Frieza replied, glaring at the sludge that was already coating his new pair of custom snow boots. 

It wasn’t far to the resort, and Yamcha surprisingly wanted to walk. By the time they entered the main lodge to check in the alien was freezing- blessedly there was a gigantic fireplace with a cozy fire burning right inside the lobby, and he insisted they pause there ‘to warm Yamcha back up’ before finally going to the desk. 

When they eventually arrived at their accommodations the former emperor’s mood improved quite a bit. It was a massive cabin located at the end of a road dotted with similar ones, with a large set of windows on the back giving a private view of the mountains. There were two bedrooms- Puar took took the smaller one, leaving the spacious master suite for the boyfriends. Most importantly, there were fireplaces in both the main room and their bedroom, and central heat that had already warmed the place up. 

Yes, Frieza didn’t mind this part. But he could see Yamcha staring longingly out at the snow… so he searched for a diversion. Well, there was that particularly stupid sounding ‘Christmas tradition’ he kept hearing about. He still didn’t understand how this was supposed to normally work, but he figured his human would appreciate him taking the initiative in trying to make it happen. Leaning back on his tail for balance, he extended one leg upwards above both of their heads, then grabbed Yamcha to pull him in for a kiss. While he did so, he shot the tiniest bit of Ki from his feet- careful to regulate it, as he didn’t want to damage their accommodations. 

“Um, babe? What are you doing?” 

“Kissing you under missile toes, obviously.” 

Yamcha stared at him for a moment, then burst into a fit laughter, hugging the shorter man. “You are so adorable, I hope you know that!” 

Frieza rolled his eyes then pulled away to finish exploring their cabin. The master suite’s bathroom included another distraction from the cold outdoors- a large jacuzzi tub. “Dearest, before we do anything further, perhaps we should give your leg a chance to relax? A hot bath could be just what it needs.” 

“Hey, that’s a genius idea! I’ll go run it right now.” Frieza watched for a moment as his human stripped down and climbed into the slowly filling tub. Such a gorgeous man… but he wanted to enjoy as much warmth as he could while he could, so after glaring at the winter wonderland out the window he closed the door between the living room and their suite and headed to the bedroom’s fireplace. 

He’d watched Yamcha build a fire back when they went camping in the summer, so surely he could do the same now? There was wood provided, and he did his best to stack it in such a way as to allow enough oxygen to fuel it. Rather than bothering with a lighter he hit the wood with a little blast of ki, which ignited it- then it went out. A few minutes more of fumbling and several false starts later it was finally burning consistently and putting out a nice, steady warmth. 

When he joined his boyfriend in the bath he left the door open, both so he could keep an eye on the fire for safety’s sake and so its warmth would hopefully be felt in both rooms. The tub was gigantic, and was still filling when he stepped into it. Luckily for them both, they both had the same preferred water temperature- practically boiling. 

“Thank you for suggesting this, my leg is less achy already!” Yamcha slid over and immediately put his arms around Frieza. The alien leaned into it, the heat of the water and his boyfriend’s body both feeling heavenly. 

“I’m happy to hear it… Your contentment is what matters most right now,” Frieza replied, gently running his tail over the troublesome limb. 

Yamcha smiled. “You know, this is kinda nice. Normally I like to be the one who’s taking care of you, but… I’m enjoying having you fussing over me right now…” Frieza had meant to give some sort of careless reply about how he shouldn’t get used to it, but before he could, his human added, “It makes me feel loved.” 

“Ah…” More of those flips from his heart. He closed his eyes and leaned back, wishing he hadn’t used that word. 

Blessedly, Yamcha picked up on this, and moved on from the topic. “Wow, that was some, uh, intense word choice on my part! Anyway, it means a lot that you and Puar were still willing to come here with me even though I won’t be able to do much until my leg’s back in sorts.” 

The fire was still burning, its flames dancing and flickering like the alien’s uncertain heart. He hated the word love. He hated the fact that even after a lifetime of making himself as hard and cold as possible he could still feel that emotion. So he turned back to his boyfriend and took a good, long look at his fit, tan, naked body. 

Lust was a far simpler feeling to make sense of, and with some strategic positioning of their bodies he was very quickly able to communicate his desires to his human. By the time they were done, the water was cold, and the fireplace was down to ash and embers… but the feelings in Frieza’s chest were as warm and bright as before, if not more so. 

“Heh, don’t know what got you in that mood all of a sudden but I’m not complaining!” Yamcha smiled. 

“Let’s dry off, get dressed, and find Puar. We’re skiing.” 

“As bad as I want to, I don’t know if my leg’s gonna be up for it for a few days yet-“ 

Frieza shook his head, still faintly blushing. “Trust me. I have a plan.” 

\- - - 

The sun made the powdery snow of the ‘beginner’s hill’ sparkle. Puar zipped down it, but stopped himself about half way. “Um, I’m gonna go try the ‘intermediate hill,’ okay? See you there!” 

“Yes… we’ll be there soon,” Frieza replied through clenched teeth as he forced himself back to his feet for what felt like the thousandth time. He sucked at this… but to be fair, he did have an extra disadvantage that Puar didn’t. 

“This time we’ll make it down for sure! You’ve got this, gorgeous!” Yamcha said from his spot sitting on Frieza’s tail and clinging to his back. Despite the snow that had made its way into his boots the alien couldn’t help but smile at that. The human’s optimism was something he really _loved_. 

As uncomfortable as that word made him, he had a feeling he was going to have to make peace with it. 

This man was worth it.

End Chapter Two: Christmas

Author’s note: I was planning on making snow shoeing the winter sport at the center of this fic since I’ve actually done it, but skiing just seemed more like something people would actually get excited over from an athlete’s standpoint, so please forgive me if you’ve actually skied and found my portrayal of it here to be embarrassingly flawed. 

This is the second time I’ve wrote Frieza giving Yamcha a piggyback ride and likely won’t be the last- it’s just too funny of an image when you consider the size difference between them. 

Yes, the Astros inspired aspects of this, but no, that’s not the scandal ‘sportscaster Yamcha’ is talking about. This is a fictional world. …and that’s my excuse for why old news is being dug up this late in the year. 

Anyway, Frieza’s continuing to become a kinder and more giving person as his affection for Yamcha grows. Good for you, Frieza! Final chapter will be Valentine’s day, and will be published once again in real time. As always, know that comments and kudos let me know people are actually reading my stuff, and that encourages me to keep publishing it. For those of you who have read, thanks so much!


	3. Valentine's Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's Day gives Frieza an opportunity to make certain sacrifices in the name of his strengthening relationship with Yamcha... as well as a chance to play a sexy game, learn rudimentary baking skills, and finally share his true feelings.

Light The Fire by MajinPiccolo

Chapter Three: Valentine’s Day

Life on Earth was a continuous game of adaptation. Frieza was starting to get used to spending time around humans, and even the clothing he had to wear while doing so, for one thing. He was also increasingly comfortable with his affection toward Yamcha. 

Yes, he knew he stood high above any other living being, this man included, but it didn’t lessen his own greatness in any way to admit that this human- and the way he made him feel- was incredibly special. 

That fed back into the first point- the more he accepted the strength of what he felt toward his partner, the more possessive he became. This lead to him being more willing to spend time in public, as Yamcha was very popular, and he wanted to be certain everyone knew he was already claimed! 

“We always watch your segment, I never even really cared about sports journalism before honestly! But when I saw my favorite Taitan on the news I got curious- and from there every single game I’m thinking ‘what’s Yamcha gonna say about this?’ So can I get a quick selfie with you?” 

This seemed to happen at least once a week. Frieza watched with his arms crossed, impatiently tapping his fingers against his skin. His lover glanced at the building they’d been about to enter and awkwardly replied, “uh, I’m not really sure what ZTV’s management would say if a photo of me in front of a place like this was out there, you know?”

“Oh yeah, you’re completely right, guess that’ll have to wait- how about an autograph instead?” 

Sighing loudly, Frieza stepped in. “Yes yes, this is all well and good and we appreciate your support but Yamcha is here to finish his shopping, not entertain his adoring public. Can we speed things up?” 

The fan shared their apologetic thanks, shook the man in question’s hand one more lingering time, and headed off. “Yet another reason I think you should retire. It would be a delight to be able to go out in public in peace.” 

“Well, maybe if we didn’t keep accidentally destroying all your cute costumes in our fits of passion I could? After all, I’ve gotta buy them so you don’t steal them, and buying means I need money, and needing money means I need a job, right?” Yamcha teased, elbowing his companion as they made their way into the store adult toy store. Ever since Halloween had gotten them both hooked on dressing Frieza up in sexy lingerie and costumes they’d became regular customers. 

From the looks of things, the shop’s staff had redecorated a little since their last trip- as soon as they stepped inside they were surrounded by pink and red images in an abstract shape. The human paused. “Ooo, hey, it’s time for your favorite thing!”

“What’s that? Are you going to take you clothes off?” The former emperor of space teased back. Predictably, the taller man went red and glanced around nervously. 

“Not out here, there are some things you can’t just say even in this kind of store! Save it for the bedroom!” Frieza just chuckled. Yamcha sighed, but perked up after a moment and waved his hand over the decorations. “What I mean is, Earth culture lessons! See all this pink and red? Like, even more than is usual for this place?”

“How could I not? Let me guess…” 

At the same moment they both said, “….a holiday.” 

“So this is all for Valentine’s Day,” Yamcha explained. “You probably can guess what it’s about from all the hearts-“ 

“Hearts?” The alien took another look at the items on display but didn’t see anything even vaguely similar to any of the many hearts he’d seen from the various races he’d killed over the years. But there was that abstract shape- he held up his hands, putting his thumbs together and arching his fingers to imitate it. “Is this what you mean?” 

Yamcha grinned. “Hold that pose for a moment!” The taller man was the master of quickly pulling out his phone and snapping a pic before Frieza even realized what he was doing. “You have _no_ idea how cute that looked.” 

Quickly lowering his hands and instead placing them on his hips, he glared up at his boyfriend. “I demand you delete that photo and then explain.” 

“Sure, sure,” he fumbled with his phone for a moment, but somehow Frieza knew he wasn’t deleting the picture. He gestured again to the displays. “Hearts are used as a symbol of love. Valentine’s is a holiday about romance. People who are dating or married always do something together to celebrate it.” 

Frieza smirked. “A holiday for people who are dating? I suppose that includes us, then?” 

“Uh huh! It’s been a few years since I had a date for Valentine’s day, and since this is your first one we’ll have to figure out something really special.” 

“I hope it doesn’t involve anything this tacky,” the former emperor reached over to a display and picked up a large transparent box containing brightly colored candies shaped like penises. It was decorated with a fake plastic rose covered in red glitter on top. He immediately regretted this action when he noticed some of the sparkly stuff was sticking to his fingers and hastily replaced it on the shelf, wiping his hands off on his pants. 

“Heck no, even I have better taste than that!” 

“Are you sure? I distinctly remember a Tshirt you wore yesterday that suggested otherwise.” 

“Hey, I stand by what I said, ‘Three Wolf Moon’ is a classic! Anyone on Earth would agree with me that my shirt was dope!” 

“You’re just further cementing my terrible opinion of this place. Maybe I’ll have to blow it up after all before it infects the rest of space with its lack of sophistication!” 

“Oh no, I’m scared now. Well…” Yamcha gave Frieza a wink, then picked up another item from the shelf. “If we’re all gonna die anyway might as well go out with a bang, right?” 

“Are those… dice?” 

“You’ll see. Now let’s go grab what we came here for. I’ve been thinking you’d look amazing in faux leather…” 

\- - - 

Another recent adaptation on Frieza’s part is he’d made peace with the fact that a list of Yamcha’s friends and a list of his own sworn enemies would be made of of almost entirely the same names. While he still didn’t go out of his way to interact with them, he accepted that they would, unfortunately, be an unavoidable part of his life as long as he wanted to stay close to his favorite human. 

One exception? After the events that transpired a few days before Christmas, he found he really enjoyed visiting the home of Vegeta and Bulma. The lovers, along with Puar, dropped by later that afternoon. 

“Hey Bulma!” Yamcha greeted his ex after finding her in the garden, where she was sitting at a table with a drink and her laptop, trying to get some work done while watching Bulla play in the grass. 

“Oh, hey you two!” She waved them over. “What brings you to Capsule Corp today?” 

The human pointed at his partner. “Well, Valentine’s day is coming up, and I was telling Frieza about it. That reminded me of our first one together back when we were a couple.” 

She burst into a fit of giggles. “Oh, that was such a disaster!”

“He was traumatized for days!” Puar laughed.

“I feel a little bad about it now,” Bulma said, still giggling, “I think I still have the photos!” 

“I was hoping you’d say that! I wanted to show them to my boyfriend, kinda a ‘how not to celebrate’ type thing.” 

“If I have them, they’ll be in one of the albums in the library- keep an eye on Bulla for a second will you? I’ll be right back!” 

As she departed, the couple exchanged knowing glances. “He’ll be here, won’t he?” 

“Of course, as soon as he feels your Ki he’ll drop what he’s doing and come ‘supervise’ as usual!” 

Sure enough, moments later Vegeta showed up, shirtless and messy, clearly straight out of a training session in the gravity room. “How many times have I told you that bastard isn’t allowed in my home?!” 

Frieza smiled politely, leaning against his human’s side while Yamcha made a show of putting his arm around the smaller man’s shoulders. “And how many times has your dear, lovely wife said we could ignore you and drop by any time?” 

Vegeta looked disgusted. The couple smirked. Yamcha pulled out a chair at the table next to where Bulma had been sitting. “Here, babe, have a seat.” 

“Thank you, darling.” He did so, and then his boyfriend moved another chair to be directly beside it, sat down, and gave him a quick kiss. 

Vegeta clenched his fists, and Puar politely raised a paw to his face to hide his snickering. Laughing inwardly, Frieza acted as though he didn’t notice his former subordinate’s annoyance, and casually stroked Yamcha’s long, soft hair as he faked interest in whatever was on Bulma’s screen. 

It looked like some code. After a moment his fake interest became real interest as he scanned over it… It was a mess, would it even be able to run properly? As his partner gave him a shoulder rub, he pulled the laptop in front of him and made a few corrections- minor things like closing tags that had been left open and the like. Satisfied, he returned it to its original spot before moaning almost obscenely. “Oh, Yamcha, that feels _so_ good…” 

Vegeta growled. Bulma returned to the room at that moment, holding a large photo album in her arms. “Aww, look at them! Why don’t you ever give me shoulder rubs, Vegeta?” 

“Ugh!” The Saiyan crossed his arms and looked away. The boyfriends smirked at each other. ‘Let’s horrify Vegeta’ was one of their favorite games these days. 

“Looks like you found the photos!” Toning down the PDA a bit, Yamcha stood up and grabbed the album, flipping through the pages. “Wow, these are ancient! It sure brings back memories!” 

“I’d been meaning to have someone digitize all these,” Bulma said. “When I do I’ll make sure you and the rest of the old gang get copies. The photos you’re looking for are near the back.” 

Yamcha found the section in question and set the book in front of Frieza, sitting back down as he explained each photo. “So Bulma and I were one another’s first proper girlfriend and boyfriend, and we both had this overly romantic idea of what our first Valentine’s should be like for us. Here we’re all fancy dressed for our fancy date-“ he indicated a shot of the two of them. 

“I think this is the youngest photo I’ve ever seen you,” Frieza remarked. He looked awkward and rather cute in a tuxedo, while Bulma was wearing enough makeup to supply a whole theatre company and a ballgown. “You do look respectable in that formal attire, although I prefer you with longer hair.” 

“Young is right, we were teens then,” Bulma shrugged, “I made him cut his hair because I was jealous of all the attention it was getting.” 

“Wait, seriously?! You told me it was because long hair wasn’t fashionable!” Yamcha stared, betrayed.

Puar sighed. “And you believed that?” 

“Hey, I was a difficult girl back then! We both had a lot of maturing to do-“

“And still do!” Vegeta broke his silence, but was ignored by the rest of the group. Yamcha continued explaining the photos, the next of which showed them at a restaurant. 

“So I managed to get a reservation for us at this super ritzy spot that had been booked for months in advance of Valentines by getting hired as a waiter there, sneaking our names onto the list, and immediately quitting. I thought I was so smooth! But we hadn’t counted on a couple things…“ 

The next photo showed the two of them looking extremely out of sorts, gourmet food and an empty bottle of champagne in front of them. “And I thought you said there was an age limit for drinking here on Earth?” 

“There is,” Yamcha snickered at the photo, “but there was a prix fixe menu that night that included the bottle of bubbly, and everyone assumed we’d already been vetted for age when the reservation was made- since I snuck us in, that obviously didn’t happen!” 

“Of course us two dumb kids were gonna drink it, despite having zero experience with booze at that point,” Bulma shook her head. “We got wasted before we were done with our appetizers. So we both reacted a bit irrationally when our waitress complimented how attractive of a couple we were while looking only at Yamcha…” 

“Irrationally is right, but I wouldn’t say our reactions were to the same degree!” Yamcha snickered. “The waitress was pretty, and I was so bad with girls back then that I kinda stuttered when I said thanks, and Bulma just blew up!” 

He turned the page, and the final photo was chaos- Bulma standing beside the knocked over table, appearing to yell at Yamcha, who’s chair had fallen backwards and was looking up from the floor in shock. Several other diners and employees of the restaurant were visible in the background, looking stunned. 

“She accused me of flirting, and tried to storm out of the place, but her gown caught on the table leg and ripped down the back. I chased after her, both to try and apologize for the perceived slight and to let her know everyone could see her panties, but we both tripped over my chair and wound up knocking over the manager, who’d been on his way over to kick us out!” 

“That didn’t exactly help us when we drunkenly begged him to let us stay. We wound up being literally thrown out the back door!” Bulma laughed. 

“I’d been the one taking photos,” Puar added, “but by that point I figured I should probably switch to trying to convince them to go home instead.” 

“Were you successful?” Frieza asked, trying to hold in his own laughter at the ridiculous scene. 

“Nope. They both threw up a couple times, apologized excessively to each other and to me, then had the most disgustingly sloppy make out session without even rinsing their mouths out first. I carried them home after they passed out!” 

“My goodness,” the former emperor took his partner’s hand. “If you ever attempt that with me, holiday or otherwise, well, let’s just say I won’t handle it as gracefully as your ex!” 

“That’s saying a lot, considering her complete lack of grace!” They both laughed at that, and Bulma picked back up the album. 

“Sometimes I’m not sure how either of us survived being a couple,” she said, “but I’m glad we both did, we each lived through it and found special someones we’re far more compatible with! Even if my dear husband is a grump!” Vegeta, still looking away with every muscle tensed, made some sort of annoyed grunting sound. “There he goes, proving my point!” They all laughed at Vegeta, then she said, “So now that you know how not to celebrate, do you two have plans for the holiday?” 

Frieza nodded. “We discussed it earlier today and determined a pleasant way to celebrate the occasion.” 

“There’s a spot back in the woods where we camped before we were officially a couple. We’re gonna go back there, and stargaze. He’ll tell me about space, and I’ll make sure we have a nice big warm blanket to cuddle under next to a cozy campfire. It’ll be fun!” 

The Saiyan shuddered, but his wife just clasped her hands together excitedly. “That is so romantic! I wish Vegeta’d make that kind of effort. His idea of a special evening is one where he remembers to take a shower before getting in bed with me. After spending his entire day training that guy reeks!” 

“Oh, I can believe that. Even now I can smell him from here,” Frieza said, waving his hand in front of his nose. 

“Yeah, poor Bulma,” Yamcha said, clearly trying and failing to make his sympathy sound genuine even as his voice almost cracked from suppressed laugher. 

“If you’re done with your journey down memory lane would you care to leave?!” Vegeta yelled. “I have training to do, but I can’t leave that fiend here unsupervised!” 

His wife sat back down, shrugging. “Sorry he’s like this.” 

“We’re used to it,” Yamcha said, “but it’s all good. We got what we came here for, shall we head home, gorgeous?” He held out a hand and helped Frieza to his feet. As they were about to leave, Bulma called out. 

“Wait, Frieza, Puar, were one of you messing with my code?” 

“What, you just assume it wasn’t me?” Yamcha asked. 

“Of course. You’re terrible with technology!” 

Frieza sighed. “Not messing with. Fixing. I couldn’t stand looking at it as it was.” 

“Don’t get the wrong idea, I’m not mad! I’m grateful! I much prefer working with my hands on the physical components of my company’s inventions to stressing over the computer stuff anyway. I just didn’t know you could do this stuff!” 

“He’s really good with computers!” Yamcha chimed in proudly. “Like, he’s constantly making little things on my laptop- he coded the ad blocker I use from scratch, and a utility that organized my years worth of old files, stuff like that!” 

“If that impresses you, you should see what I could do if I had something better than your underpowered brick to work on,” Frieza smirked. In reality his computer skills were nothing special- by the standards of the sort of technology his former empire had used his abilities would have been considered barely adequate, perhaps on the level of a middle school student. He’d never made any real study of it as he simply hadn’t needed to. But Earth’s primitive tech was nothing to him and made it easy to make himself look good… not that he’d ever admit he wasn’t some sort of genius at all things. 

“I guess my computer is a little old and basic but I don’t see the point in replacing it while it still works,” Yamcha replied. 

“I’m curious…” Bulma pulled out a capsule case, went through the labels, then said, “Here, catch!” Frieza did so with ease. 

“And this is?” 

“A top of the line computer set up. My family gets sent stuff like this all the time for free from various companies hoping to partner with us. Take that thing and show us what you can really do!” 

He rolled his eyes but made no move to reject the gift. Vegeta bristled but said nothing. As they said their goodbyes and headed out the door, he caught the Saiyans eyes on them again, and made a point of slipping his hand into Yamcha’s back pocket just to see his former subordinate shudder. 

\- - - 

“Okay, so this game is simple,” Yamcha and Frieza sat alone in the bedroom, a few candles lit for atmosphere’s sake (they still had quite a few left over from the Halloween decorations the human had purchased a few months back). Other than a pair of shorts the taller man was wearing they were both undressed and cuddled together, leaning against the pillows. The impulse buy from that day’s shopping trip sat in front of them. “We take turns rolling the dice. The red one has an action, the pink one has a body part. One face on each die has a lips symbol, that’s the wild. Whoever rolls the dice does whatever action they command to the other one’s indicated part.” 

“Hmm… I might like this game already,” the former emperor gave his human his most dangerous smile. “It seems like it will lead to nothing but pleasure.” 

“That’s the idea! Now let’s get started! I’ll go first…” 

He scooped up the dice and made a big show of blowing on them for luck, then rolled them and read the results. “Hmm, ‘kiss’ and ‘neck’?” he turned to his lover. “Don’t mind if I do!” 

Frieza smiled and tilted his head back. Yamcha’s lips never disappointed, and he felt them press against his skin in a series of increasingly naughty ways. He laced his fingers through the other’s hair and pulled him in, encouraging. After a minute of this he spoke up, “this might be too strong of a start. Let’s see what else the dice suggest before we get too distracted.” 

Yamcha pulled back just a little, but kept his arms around his boyfriend. “Heh, got it. Your turn to roll.” 

It took him a moment to find where the dice had wound up partially buried in the blankets, but once he did he gave them a few quick shakes in his hand and dropped them on the bed, leaning down to read… “‘Rub… elbow’?” 

“I guess with six sides on each dice they can’t all be the sexiest of combinations?” Yamcha shrugged, but held his arm out to Frieza, who obligingly gave the aforementioned area the quickest rub (accompanied by an eye roll) before his human scooped the dice back up and rolled them again. 

“Okay, I’ve got… ‘lick thigh.’ Sounds good.” With a lewd grin he grabbed the smaller man’s legs, pushed them apart, and ran his tongue slowly up their inner area from his knee to his crotch, stopping just short of where things would get _really_ interesting. “Mmm… you’re delicious!” 

That comment earned him a smack with a pillow, but it was all good spirited. “Just you wait, I’m about to-“ he rolled again, “-‘touch back’?” 

They looked at each other, both shrugged, and Frieza placed his hand on Yamcha’s back. It wasn’t that it was unpleasant- quite the opposite, as he enjoyed his human’s body heat and found his broad back to be quite appealing- but it still felt like a let down compared to what the other man was rolling. 

To his credit, Yamcha leaned into the touch and acted as though it was as erotic of a thing as the dice suggested before making his own third roll. “Alright, time to… ‘bite neck’ huh?” They met eyes for a moment, then he was on Frieza, aggressively biting and sucking on that particular area of skin. 

“Mmm…” Frieza couldn’t help himself. He loved when his partner was forceful- it wasn’t like any of this could actually damage him, after all, and the fact that he was bold enough to be so wild with him in bed was a rare and highly attractive thing. By the time they once again parted they were both panting a bit. “You’re quite gifted with that mouth of yours,” he said after a moment. 

“It’s all yours, however and whenever you please,” the taller man replied with a wink. “Now go on, third time’s the charm and all that!” 

“Alright…” the alien really took care to properly shake the dice, knowing the outcome was random yet certain the force of his will would somehow result in something more exciting than- “‘touch’ and ‘elbow’?! Are these things rigged?!” 

Yamcha laughed long and hard at that, until there were tears in the corners of his gorgeous eyes. “Here babe,” he said after a minute of his mirth while his lover sulked beside him, “I think we read them wrong. Look…” he picked the two dice up and rotated them so that each was displaying a lips image. “See? Both are wild. Guess you can do whatever you want to me, wherever you want on me. So what will it be?” 

Their eyes met again, the cutest little smile pulling at the edges of his human’s as he gently squeezed Frieza’s hands and waited for a reply. Oh, this man would be the end of him! He took a moment as though he were thinking it over carefully, then replied in his most sultry of tones, “if that’s the case… I think I’d like to touch… your elbow!” 

They likely woke up Puar with their laughter at that, but neither really cared. The dice got tossed one more time- thrown out of the bed by accident- as Frieza jumped on his dear, sweet, goofy, sexy Yamcha and made a point of showing him something far more pleasurable than the dice could describe. 

\- - - 

The days when Yamcha worked were Frieza’s least favorite. Even if he was warming up to certain specific facets of life on this planet it all still came down to the fact that his human was what made it all tolerable, yet the man had to be away for an inordinately long time for what amounted to one short TV news segment. The way he’d explained it, it wasn’t only the time on camera, but he also had to be at the studio several hours prior to go through all the information he and his team needed to get his analysis together, as well as hair, makeup, and wardrobe. Then the taping, which sometimes required multiple takes, and if he was really unlucky, he’d have to stay on site for live updates if there was anything big going on. 

Retirement couldn’t come soon enough as far as Frieza was concerned. It didn’t help that now, deep in the off season for baseball and the big scandals that had been hogging the headlines replaced with other things, Yamcha’s job now revolved around football, which meant he had to do a lot more work to cover a sport he wasn’t personally invested in. 

More time away from home, and a more stressed out Yamcha? Lose and lose. But that stubborn man insisted on working. 

So Frieza sat alone in the living room at a desk he’d set up with that computer Bulma had given him. For Earth tech it wasn’t horrible, although still lightyears behind what he was used to working with. Puar had taken to borrowing it for gaming when the alien wasn’t using it, and claimed it was ‘perfect for pwning the n00bs’ or something to that effect, but he tended to ignore the little shapeshifter when he spoke in nonsense terms like that. 

He’d been playing around with the capsule it had been stored in. Despite the ease of use of such an item, there was incredibly sophisticated technology behind it that was even mildly impressive to Frieza. But there was room for improvement. He idly changed a few details of a 3D model of one of these items that was on his screen, jumping between that and some notes on the back end of what actually powered them. 

This was getting tedious. As fun as it would be to perfect his partner’s ex’s company’s signature product and gloat about it, it still was starting to become too much work for too little reward. So he locked the screen and got up. 

Puar, who had been watching television across the room, quickly floated off the couch. “Are you done?” 

He nodded. “Yes, feel free to play your games, just please avoid loudly swearing when you lose as I’d like to take a nap.” 

“Not that,” Puar approached him. “I wanted to talk to you.” 

“Really now?” Frieza rolled his eyes. “I thought we had a mutual understanding that while we were obligated to share our lives by nature of our close relationships with Yamcha we would stay out of one another’s way outside that.” 

“This involves him, and something he’s too nice to tell you.” 

That caught the alien’s attention. “What are you getting at?” 

“Since Lord Yamcha’s been teaching you about Earth I’m sure he was the one you learned your understanding of Valentine’s Day from, am I right?” 

“Of course. Why would I subject myself to the tedium of researching these customs on my own when I have a native of the place willing to share the information with me?” 

“Then what did he tell you?” 

“It’s a holiday for romantic partners, and we’re going to celebrate with a special date. Is there something missing?” 

Puar nodded. “I knew it! He wouldn’t tell you because he knows you can’t do it!” 

That pissed the former emperor off. “Watch it, rodent. Implying there’s anything I’m incapable of is a very dangerous path to walk!” 

“You’re supposed to get your boyfriend a gift on Valentine’s Day! He’s definitely going to get something nice for you!” Puar spat at him, crossing his tiny arms. “And he knows you can’t do that for him because you don’t have any money!” 

“Of course I have money! I’m rich, remember! My former business was so lucrative I could have bought this whole entire solar system with the loose change from the bottom of my pockets!” 

“Stop yelling at me when I’m trying to help you! You’ve been saying that as long as you’ve been here but I’ve never seen a single sign of this wealth. I think you can’t access it anymore.” 

That… was actually true. Stuck on this planet with no way to contact the intergalactic banks his funds were stored in, he might as well be broke. Considering he knew nothing of the fate of his empire after the failed attack on this planet that had changed his life completely, well, for all he knew he was assumed dead and his assets and accounts locked, or liquidated, or transferred to whatever bottom feeder wound up taking his place as the leader of the Planet Trade. Of course this bothered him, but it didn’t much affect his quality of life here- Yamcha easily made enough to support all three of them, even considering Frieza’s rich tastes. He had what he needed, and more importantly what he wanted… but didn’t actually have any accessible cash. 

He glared at Puar. “Of course I can access it, it’s my own money. But that doesn’t matter. Tell me more about the gift I’m supposed to get Yamcha.” 

“Chocolate is traditional, or just something you think he’d like. Anything as long as it comes from the heart!”

“Oh, what’s that supposed to mean? Just tell me how to satisfy this tradition!” 

Puar shook his head. “I’m not helping you if you’re just gonna try and order me around! I’m just telling you this for his benefit, because this is going to be the first Valentine’s Day in a long, long time that Lord Yamcha has a partner he really cares about. I don’t my best friend to be disappointed!” 

“Ugh! He’ll be spending the day with _me_ , how could he possibly be disappointed!” 

Sighing dramatically, the tiny shapeshifter floated off. “Never mind! I was hoping to see another little scrap of that selfless kindness you’ve shown for his sake a handful of times, but no! I should have known I was giving you too much credit!” 

\- - - 

Yamcha came home late several days in a row. “I’m gonna be so glad when all this Super Bowl analysis is wrapped up,” he sighed, practically collapsing onto the couch beside Frieza. Puar had gone to bed an hour prior, so the alien didn’t mind being affectionate- when his human wrapped his arms around him, he did the same, and let his tail coil around his leg. He gently loosened the taller man’s tie, unbuttoned the top few buttons of his overly starched dress shirt, and kissed his neck a few times. He could feel him relax in his embrace. 

“You and I both. Does an event from America really even need this level of coverage here?” 

“Some of it is for ZTV as usual, but they’ve also been recording me as part of a package that they sell for various foreign markets that have a television channel that caters to the community of people from this part of the world that have moved abroad. So it’s actually double the work. Been so busy I was afraid they were gonna try and make me come in on Valentine’s Day, so I went to the station president’s office a couple weeks back and told him in no uncertain terms that my plans for the day are unbreakable.” 

“As always, your devotion is noted, and appreciated.” 

Yamcha kissed him. While it started off somewhat muted by his tiredness, his affections still shown through. Frieza closed his eyes and enjoyed it. He could tell his lover needed this chance to relax and stop thinking about his obligations. Of course, after a few moments and some wandering hands he seemed reinvigorated, and his lips became more forceful, passionate… the alien could feel himself responding to it on every level and was about to suggest they took this to bed- 

“Oh fuck!” Yamcha pulled away. “I forgot to pick up food! Did you eat, and do you know if Puar did?” 

“Puar had leftovers from yesterday, remember? I believe he just had that. I haven’t ate.”

In a flash his partner was off the couch and promptly in the kitchen. He returned a moment later. “It’s too late for delivery to get us anything even vaguely healthy, and I don’t have a lot of dinner ingredients on hand since I haven’t had much time for cooking this week, but I do have what I need for a quick vegetable stir fry with rice so that’s what it’s gonna have to be. I know that’s not your favorite-“ 

“It’s acceptable.” Frieza looked at his still clearly exhausted boyfriend and stood up. “Get out of those work clothes and into something you can actually breathe in. I don’t mind waiting.” 

“I’ll make sure it’s the tastiest damn thing you’ve ate all day then! You’re the best, babe,” Yamcha gave him a quick kiss then vanished into the bedroom. 

“No… it’s definitely you,” he whispered, just quiet enough to be sure there was no chance anyone could hear him being so sentimental.

Just shy of an hour later they were both back on the couch, the human having put his hair back down and traded in his work suit for comfortable pajamas. Their empty plates sat on the coffee table in front of them, and the graveyard hour news was just finishing- including Yamcha’s prerecorded segment. 

Frieza enjoyed watching these with their star for the sake of how embarrassed he’d get. It was was fun watching him cringe- his human was too adorable. 

“Bed now?” He asked after a yawn.

Too late for sex, but cuddling was nice, too… they drifted off together, the alien allowing himself to feel surrounded by his lover, the smell of him, his body heat… 

The most feared and powerful man in space, giving himself so fully to some insignificant human who had once actually worked against him.

What a joke this part of his life had turned into! What a hilarious joke! And yet…

His chest ached with how strongly he felt for this man. 

\- - - 

Frieza was up early the next day and back to tinkering with his computer. After Yamcha left for work, he brought up a webpage he’d had minimized, printed it, and found Puar. 

“For Yamcha’s sake… I need you to help me.” He slapped the papers down in front of his boyfriend’s oldest friend. Puar looked from the print out to the former emperor, questioning. 

“This would work as a Valentine’s gift, right? But I’ve never done anything like this on my own, so… please?” 

The shape shifter was clearly surprised, but after a moment smiled and nodded. “I’ll help! Let’s go!” 

\- - - 

They slept in late on Valentine’s Day, and when the lovers woke up, they wound up staying in bed for another hour or so, unsurprisingly. After that, a nice, long shower together that only ended when they ran out of hot water, then back to bed to finish what the shower started. It was early afternoon by the time they finally left the master bedroom. 

Puar had, of course, made himself scarce, a note on the table saying he’d be spending the day with friends. “Heh, Puar can be a real bro,” Yamcha laughed. Brunch was leisurely as well, with a considerable amount of overly affectionate touching. Why not? It was a holiday for such things, after all. 

After that, Yamcha excused himself for a moment and came back holding a dark red gift bag and a small envelope. “Sooo… I got you something. Two somethings actually.” 

Puar had been right, and he’d have to remember to be a little more willing to listen to him in the future. The former emperor leaned back in his chair and smirked. “Really now? You have my curiosity…” 

His boyfriend handed him first the envelope and explained as the alien opened it, “this one’s for you of course, but uh, also a little for me? It’s a gift card to a super high end lingerie store. They’ve got all sorts of stuff for all kinds of genders and body types, so we can probably find something a lot classier and better fitting for you than the cheap costumes we have so much fun with.”

This was a good gift, and despite having spent their morning enjoying the pleasures of one another’s body this was already giving him the most exciting ideas… nothing got his Yamcha fired up like seeing Frieza dressed sexy, and that enthusiasm transferred to his performance. He set the card down and stood, letting his lover hold him as he ran his fingertips over his arms. “I look forward to seeing where this gift will lead us, my dear Yamcha.” 

“I’m so glad you like it!” He replied, “and I can not wait to see you in whatever you pick out!” 

“And the second gift?” 

Yamcha paused, letting go of his lover and picking up the bag yet not handing it over. “This one is… well it’s kinda silly. I had to go through all sorts of trouble to figure out what your favorite was, and then call in all sorts of favors to get it, and it’s probably not that big of a deal, but I just thought… well, here.” 

He handed over the gift bag. Frieza removed the decorative paper and reached inside, pulling out- 

A bottle of wine. One he’d seen so many times in his life. The label was in a language he hadn’t seen in nearly a year at this point… Something that had once been so mundane now triggered such odd feelings. Nostalgia for his old life, of course, but… also a realization that he no longer desired to go back to it. This brand was highly sought after, expensive and difficult to get even in space, but somehow his human had managed it, just to make the former emperor happy. And there it was, that flipping, fluttering feeling in his chest, the one he felt so strongly. The one he knew exactly what it was, but didn’t like to name. He looked up at Yamcha, who watched him, expectant and nervous. “Did I get it right?” 

“This was my favorite. I haven’t had it since before I came here… How did-“ Frieza stopped himself, and embraced Yamcha, burying his face against his chest so he’d have a moment to pull himself together before saying, “thank you. That was a wonderfully thoughtful gift.” 

“Then it was more than worth the trouble,” his boyfriend replied, holding him tightly. 

The alien composed himself- he was Lord Frieza after all, not some slave to emotion!- and pulled away. “It just so happens I also have a gift for you. Wait here.” He left his curious boyfriend and went to the kitchen, pulling a covered container from the back of the fridge and returning to the room. He set it on the table. 

“What’s this?” Yamcha asked. “You didn’t need to get me anything…” 

Frieza’s smile was smug. “After our initial conversation, I learned more about this holiday than what you told me. You left out the part about giving gifts on purpose didn’t you? How truly naughty. Now go on, take a look.” 

He complied, removing the cover and revealing four large chocolate cupcakes. “Ooo, these look delicious!” 

“It was quite a pain finding a recipe that would work with the ingredients on hand in our kitchen, but I was able to create something in the traditional chocolate-“ 

“Wait, you made these?! I didn’t know you even knew how to use a microwave, much less cook!” 

“Well, I had some assistance in regards to usage of the kitchen appliances from Puar, but otherwise these are entirely my own work.” He wasn’t going to mention the first batch, which he burnt and had to throw out, or the second, which he forgot an ingredient in and once again had to throw out. These ones turned out perfect. Exactly what his Yamcha deserved. But the part he was most proud of was how he decorated them… 

“Wait a sec, the frosting… is that…?” 

“Yes, an anatomically correct human heart,” the alien replied, inordinately pleased with himself. If hearts were considered a romantic symbol on this planet then what could be better than this? He’d carefully researched what this organ looked like so as to be as accurate as this medium allowed- only the most real image of it felt appropriate to show the strength of what he felt, even if getting the icing into that shape was a majorly annoying process that tested the absolute limits of his barely existent patience. 

“Heh, well, this is a gift from the heart alright,” Yamcha laughed a little, then grabbed Frieza in a big hug. “I’m knocked out here, I never would have guessed you’d do something like this, it’s too cute. You’re too cute. And I’m too lucky!” 

“You’ve called me ‘cute’ a few times too many lately, but I’m pleased you’re happy.” He looked up as boyfriend and took a step back. “Now, I have a favor to ask of you… Before we head out for our plans for the evening, I needed to briefly speak with Bulma. Can we make a quick stop at Capsule Corp.?” 

“Really? I mean, sure. It’ll give us another chance to annoy Vegeta.” 

“Thank you for your understanding, I’ll make sure not to waste any more of our time than necessary.” 

As discussed, early that evening they packed the few things they’d need for their plans into a bag and flew off, holding hands. Yamcha, always the gentleman, carried the bag, and Frieza held a folder with various papers in it. He noticed his human give it an odd look, but he didn’t ask. The way that man trusted him, even though the former emperor’s history would be a perfectly good reason not to… It was charming. 

He clutched the folder tightly against his chest. 

It was easy enough to find Bulma- she was in the lab, hard at work on some manner of invention. Before they had a chance to greet each other Vegeta entered the room, looking uncomfortable in a nice suit and immediately irritated to see the boyfriends. “Ugh, you’re here even today?” 

As usual, the ramped up the PDA purely for the fun of making him squirm. “Only for a moment. I wanted to have a quick discussion with your lovely wife if that’s alright,” as he said so, he stroked Yamcha’s arm. 

“Fine. That actually works out perfectly, because I’d been wanting to have a private word with Yamcha anyway.” Vegeta stomped out of the room, making the mistake of glancing back in time to see the boyfriends share a quick kiss. He shuddered as he went out into the hallway. 

“Be careful around him,” the alien said quietly. 

“Don’t worry about me,” he replied. “See you in a minute!” Once he left, Frieza turned to Bulma and set down the folder. 

“Let’s talk business for a moment, shall we?” 

\- - - 

It went well. Better than he could have anticipated. Frieza felt light as he left the room. Now, where was his Yamcha? 

“Damn it Vegeta, get over it already!” An argument? He rushed to follow the sound of his boyfriend’s voice and found the two mammals in the other room, tensions high, practically at each other’s throats. 

“Vegeta,” the alien spoke, his voice cold, calm, and terrifying, “step back from Yamcha before I am forced to make you.” 

“There we go! Threats of violence, par for the course from someone like you!” The Saiyan stepped away from Yamcha and quickly advanced on Frieza. “I was just telling your so-called partner here that I was getting tired of waiting for you to give me an excuse.” 

“Don’t let him bait you!” Yamcha shouted. “He just wants you to attack him so he can say you were the one who broke the truce and justify hurting you, or, or worse!” 

“Oh, shut up already, you aren’t part of this in any way. This is between us Saiyans and this monster, you’re only here because he’s using you as his pawn to get access to us!” 

“You have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about,” Frieza spat, fists clenching. Vegeta seemed encouraged by this. 

“Go on, I’m even being so charitable as to let you throw the first punch! Let’s settle this, you tyrannical bastard!” 

The former emperor shut his eyes for a moment, trying to force down his anger. He had never hated Vegeta more than at this exact moment! How dare he doubt what he and his human had built together! How dare he try and destroy their happiness! Everything in him wanted to teach this stupid monkey a lesson, but he couldn’t without playing right into his hands. So he held himself back, but Vegeta was still out for blood. 

“If it comes down to it, who would know what really happened if I killed you right now? I could always say you brutally attacked me, and anyone would believe it-“ 

Yamcha’s fist came out of nowhere, connecting hard with the Saiyans jaw, surprising all three of the men present when it knocked him off his feet. 

Sputtering and rubbing the spot he’d been hit, Vegeta quickly got back up. “What-“

“Save it,” Yamcha cut him off. “There may be a truce preventing Frieza from kicking your ass but there’s nothing stopping me from teaching you a lesson. And before you try and say I couldn’t, well, let that hit a moment ago be your proof that I can be as strong as I need to be when it comes to protecting what matters, and nothing is more worth protecting that what I have with Frieza.” 

The man in question stared at his Yamcha, almost dazzled, that feeling in his chest close to unbearable. Vegeta glared between them both, clearly looking for some kind of response. Frieza took his boyfriend’s hand and said simply, “Vegeta… I don’t particularly care what you think of our relationship. We don’t have to prove anything to you. Now, if you want to preserve your own marriage you should probably stop antagonizing us and instead go apologize to your wife for spending the rest of Valentine’s day with a giant, ugly bruise on your face.” 

The couple left, leaving a stunned Saiyan behind them. 

\- - - 

The flight to their destination for the evening was a quick one when they both flew at full speed, and within minutes Yamcha had made a campfire and set out one blanket for them to sit on and another for them to wrap around themselves. They sat side by side, the blanket, fire, and his human’s body heat making this winter evening marvelously cozy. 

“You fought for me today,” he said after they got comfortable. “Even knowing the difference in strength between yourself and that Saiyan…” 

Yamcha closed his eyes and sighed. “That was reckless of me, but I just couldn’t stand the way Vegeta was trying to mess things up for us. And you know? In the moment, when I said I’d be as strong as I needed to in order to protect us? I really believed it.” 

“I’ll admit, I believed it too, for that moment at least. In fact, I think you made even that Saiyan believe it.” 

“It’s funny, the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for me was hold yourself back from a fight for our sake, whereas it looks like the most romantic thing I could do was get into one,” Yamcha snickered, putting an arm around Frieza’s shoulders. 

The alien reached up and traced his fingers lightly over his lover’s scars, then his neck, then his chest… “Be that as it may, I have one other gift for you this evening.” 

“Hmm?” 

“Much like the first gift you gave me tonight, it’s a gift that’s in a way for both of our benefit, but…” Frieza hesitated for a moment. This was a little humiliating after all. “…I have secured employment.” 

“Wait, you… got a job?!” 

The former emperor nodded. “I’d been playing with some of Capsule Corp’s technology as a hobby ever since Bulma gave me that computer and quickly realized there’s much room for improvement. I brought some of my work when I spoke with her this evening and was hired on the spot. She agreed to my terms- I wanted to be able to do all my work from home, and to be paid a salary worth my time. So this means…” Frieza met his human’s eyes. “This means that, if you so choose, when it’s next time to renegotiate your contract with ZTV-“ 

“I could actually retire?” 

“Yes. Considering how you’ve said again and again that the reason you don’t is your concern about supporting us-“

Before he could finish that sentence he was knocked flat on his back when Yamcha tackle hugged him. “You really went and got a job- working for the wife of someone you despise- just so we could spend more time together?! The proud Lord Frieza actually did that, and he did it… for me?” 

It was a moment before he could reply due to being showered with kisses. “I take it you approve of your gift?”

“Yes, oh yes!” More kisses. Clearly the humiliation of working for someone else was going to be worth it! 

Once things finally calmed down a bit, they were still laying back on the blanket, the campfire burning brightly and stars above them reflecting in their eyes. “Hey, Frieza…” Yamcha propped himself up on one arm and smiled at his boyfriend. “There’s something I wanted to tell you, and I thought tonight would be a good time for it.”

“Today’s been one surprise after another,” the alien chuckled. “You have my attention, then.” 

“Well…” Yamcha was blushing. What an adorable man. “I’ve felt this way for a while now, and you’ve probably guessed anyway, but I think I need to finally say it. Frieza, everything about you fascinates me. You’re so smart, so gorgeous, and so unlike anyone else I’ve ever met. I feel this incredible attraction to you, not just physically but in every sense. And it’s gotta be because I love you. I love you so much, Frieza!” 

That ever present fluttering paused for the briefest of moments and instead became something more like fireworks in his chest. Bright, warm, explosive, and beautiful. Burning like that fire they sat beside. He could hardly handle it.

And Frieza- the most feared, powerful, sadistic, cruel, cold hearted and terrifying being in space- held his eyes closed and pulled his lover into his arms, pressing his face against his shoulder in hopes he wouldn’t notice the tears. 

Ridiculous that he of all people was crying over something like this. He never let his emotions get the best of him- 

But he’d never had anything like what he had with this one impossibly special man. The only one who was truly worth him in full. 

“…you too,” he finally whispered. 

He felt Yamcha’s arms tighten around him at that and they held each other. “Alright…” he pulled away once he’d gotten himself back together, but almost lost his composure again when he got another look at his beloved’s face. “I packed that bottle of wine you so kindly gifted me if you’d like to share it.”

“Well, aren’t you generous? I’d love to! It just so happens I packed something for us too…” Yamcha reached into a small side pocket on the bag and pulled out…

“Those ridiculous dice?” Frieza couldn’t help but chuckle. 

Even with the incredible view they had of the stars above them, he wasn’t the slightest bit tempted to return to his old life in space. He’d have everything he ever needed here, on Earth, with the man he’d fallen completely in love with.

End Light the Fire

Author’s Note: Sorry for the delay, a variety of factors made this chapter late. ANYWAY! If there was ever a place for such an emotional ending it’s my Valentine’s day fluff fic. The main story is over but I might add additional chapters in this same universe where Frieza gets to experience other Earth holidays for the first time but don’t hold me to it. I’ve just been enjoying writing him misunderstanding Earth customs and all that, and I really like the version of these two’s dynamic in this fic. They’re so cute, like, even more than usual for Yamza which is saying a lot.


End file.
